The 80/20 Rule

More times than I would like to admit, I have, sometimes willingly, but a lot of times, unknowingly, been "The other woman". I have also been the victim of the other woman. I am probably one of the most liberal women you would ever meet and tend to explain early in a relationship (regardless of the type), to, 'Just be HONEST with me. Let me make my own decisions. If I find out later, I will be angrier than if you just told me in the first place." In my mind, if a mate does something "wrong", but can admit to it, then we can work through it. I am very aware that people are human. However, in contrast, to lie about it, signifies to me that the person feels no sense of remorse. If I am told the truth, I will be more likely trust that the other person to ALWAYS be honest with me. But of course, I'm always hit with this line:

How does one know what I can handle? I think it's very selfish for someone to make decisions for me and to carry on a relationship, that is basically a lie. When you are not married, or sometimes when people are, the fact of the matter is that you are STILL human. I don't hold people what I feel are unreasonable or unrealistic expectations. Be you! I would rather someone love me for who I truly am, than to love a fabricated version of myself. I never understood, if people want to truly and honestly be with their mate, then why cheat? There is an option to have an open relationship, why not do that? Or not have a relationship at all? I guess it goes back to the whole sense of entitlement that I referenced in the last blog. What makes a person think they can have their cake and eat it too? WHERE THEY DO THAT AT?

I have seen so many men, and women, rationale why they step out on their mates. Why not just LEAVE? I've heard the amended version of the old adage, that goes something like this, "The grass is greener on the other side because they use cow manure as fertilizer." I probably jacked it up, but you get the point. Searching for that other 20%, and not realizing that you may not be the full 100% yourself. I've seen so many seemingly good relationships go awry from people not loving and building what they already have. They keep their 80 percent and lie to them about their 20 percent on the side. I wonder if it ever crosses their mind, what if when I'm away from my mate, that they are searching for or sleeping with their other 20%? Hmmm....

1. Know what you want.

2. When you find it...love it and build on it.

3. Or someone else will.