What would make you happy?

I so missed my blog, but I wanted to wait until I had something worthwhile to share before I started a long dissertation about something that no one would care to read. The other day in the midst of my own introspection, I decided to pose a questions to my facebook fam. I asked "What would make you happy in life?" I have not a clue the answer to this question and felt like having a dialogue with other people may shed some light on my own plight.

M-W.com gives the following definition:
Main Entry: hap-py
Pronunciation: \ˈha-pē\
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): hap·pi·er; hap·pi·est
Etymology: Middle English, from hap
Date: 14th century

1 : favored by luck or fortune : fortunate (a happy coincidence)
2 : notably fitting, effective, or well adapted : felicitous (a happy choice)
3 a : enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment (is the happiest person I know) (a happy childhood) b : expressing, reflecting, or suggestive of happiness (a happy ending) c : glad, pleased (I'm happy to meet you) d : having or marked by an atmosphere of good fellowship : friendly (a happy office)
4 a : characterized by a dazed irresponsible state (a punch-happy boxer) b : impulsively or obsessively quick to use or do something (trigger-happy) c : enthusiastic about something to the point of obsession : obsessed (education-conscious and statistic-happy — Helen Rowen)
synonyms see lucky, fit


First and foremost, I don't believe in luck. I believe that everything is part of a divine plan by God. I am a big fan of The Secret. The Secret simply states that anything that makes you feel positive feelings (joy, happiness, peace) means that you are in alignment with your universe and anything contrary to that is well, contrary to that. So, I try to go with things that make me feel good, hoping that it will create a habit of happy feelings. However, lately, I've been on a roller coaster ride varying from one extreme to the other. Which is sooooo not me. I'm usually a very happy and bubbly person.

So, one day, my bff and I sat down and made lists of what would truly make us happy. This is what I had on my list:

-Knowing that my mother is safe
-Release of responsibility
-Vacations
-Not worrying about money
-LOVE and sincere attention, not just sex
-Feeling like I have time to nurture my creative side
-Free time

When I posed the question to Facebook, most of what I got back involved having more money or having more love, which I also included on my list. I guess knowing is half the battle, but then what do you do to get from NOW to your Happy Place?

I've made dream boards...I have tons of them in my house. I try positive visualization. I try speaking things as though they have already happened. I think part of the battle with finding what makes you happy is that oftentimes we want an instant fix. How can it just be over with today? I don't want to suffer anymore. Sometimes we don't learn to love and to live in the victories that we already have. My pastor once said in a sermon "God has given you everything you need to be successful. If we were faithful to the things that God has ALREADY given us, we'd be surprised at what we could do." So Where is the disconnect? Have our visions become so microwaved that we think we don't have to work for anything? Have we gotten away from what is truly important in life?

A lot of times we focus on what's wrong in our lives, our bills we have to pay and the money we have to earn to pay them. But living to work to pay bills, is that happiness? So let's say you win the lottery? What did Puff & dem say? Mo money mo problems. More money would probably lead to more bills and so on. So I challenge you to figure out, what would TRULY make you happy? And furthermore challenge you to go after it. Smooches!

Tyra Banks Show: "How I told my family and friends"

My Girl got a Girlfriend...but ONLY if I can play too!

Ignorant A$$ Boy's (herein referred to as IAB) FB Status:  "I hate to say it but the reason y it's flooding is because of all "GAYS" in Atlanta" 



Now I consider myself to be relatively open-minded and usually I'm not easily stirred, but this comment pissed me off.  It was posted by a now ex-facebook friend.  About a month ago, I posted the status "Why are people so afraid of HAPPY people?"  I am known for puns and hidden meanings etc, but I really only meant to convey the sentiment of people who are truely and genuinely happy in contrast to those who are NOT.  IAB's response went into a long rant about how sometimes people are TOO happy and maybe he doesn't want to be happy.  (Rolling my eyes) There's a thought.  Who would want to be happy? Hmmm…He said he only had a problem when people try to push their "Happiness" on him.  You already supposedly love women, how can I possibly push my views on you?  

So, I began to reflect...Gucci Mane, T-pain, Lil Wayne and probably some others that I am missing have songs or lyrics that mention to "my girl got a girlfriend."  It's like some thrill of the conquest game men play they feel like they did something when they can get two girls at the same time and have them be ok with each other.  When men, or rather boys, discover that I lead an alternative lifestyle, their goal immediately changes to trying to figure out which of my friends I'm going to bring over, or why don't I holler at this chic, so on and so on. 
Or my favorite "I just want to watch."  
No, you don't!  
"We all grown folks, right"
Is this supposed to be game?  Like for real?  With everyone hollering keep it 100, it’s amazing to me the foolishness and antics that guys will go through trying to get two chics and themselves in the same bed together.  So, let's say they're successful...Mission accomplished, right?

But what happens when the two girls decide that he is no longer necessary, needed, wanted, or desired.  They become freaks and whores and abominations and they can only look forward to a future that ends in going straight to hell with gasoline draws on.  What is that about?  What happened to being grown folks being so open-minded?  

Here are a few replies to the question I posed:  “Doing some research, FB, help me out... Why is it sexy for girls to like girls until they stop liking dudes?”

“Cause boys are taught at an early age, in regard to toys... the only thing better than one toy car, is two toy cars... and we want to play with both, preferably at the same time... When the cars don’t want to play with us, most of us lose interest.”- ASJ

“Just speculation but maybe it's because it kills dudes threesome fantasy.” -RVJ

“The female body is most beautiful thing God gave us on this Earth. It all a fantasy, that involves a little control, when the control is gone from the equation, then she is a sinner. She has to make a choice, to love a man or love a woman.”-WL

“Well I think it is sexy for you to make the decision to make yourself happy and live for you.... whether a man is involved or not I’m gay and I think it’s real sexy hon.” –SNW

“It all comes down to men being SELFISH!!! That's the common denominator. When they get left out of the fun then they act up and act out. We become everything except a child of God. SMH...its sad but true.” –SS

And we can’t forget the typical male response:

“I don’t mind it at all... I love to sit back and watch enjoy the show.” -MMH

I think this issue goes beyond the whole aura of lesbian vs. bisexual women and really points to some of the difficulty that “straight” women go through trying to be with a “straight” man.  Oftentimes it’s these same simpleminded views that lead women to be with other women.  That’s why we get girlfriends!  There’s a part of us, usually emotional and sometimes physically, that just isn’t satisfied by being with a man. 

My friend went on to say “…I just don’t get people I mean even if we do love us some females we are still human and we are still gods children!!!!!! That’s why it’s so many people that don’t feel comfy with the way they are and it shouldn’t even be like that.”
I totally agree.  But as a wise man once told me, MY well being is worth more to me than YOUR sanity.  That’s my soapbox for the evening…Smooches!

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Monsoon Season in Georgia

I am a native Atlantan.  I was born in Atlanta, raised in Atlanta, moved away, but came right back to Atlanta.  I have never seen rain like this before in Atlanta.   For the past week, it has been raining seemingly nonstop.  Typically, I am a huge fan of the rain. I believe rain has cleansing effects for both your spirit and for the earth.  Considering there have been times where we were in dire need of rain, maybe we attracted this torrential downpour.  I haven't left my house, but I have seen the pictures where people were trying to get out and about but were terribly delayed because of the flooding.  It is causing a great deal of stress for people, besides the fact that it is just plain dangerous.  According to a yahoo article as much as 20 inches has fallen in the metro area over the past few days.  2 people have died and many are missing. It is so unfortunate and scary. 
 Heavy Rains in Southeast  

Last night, in a freakish insomnia, I layed awake watching the lightening, however, there was no rain or thunder.  the more pictures I see and stories I hear, I become terribly concerned. 

I Probably Shouldn't Tell You

I Probably Shouldn't Tell You

I probably shouldn't tell you that I think you're beautiful,
Or that you're the same color as chocolate,
Except you're ten times sweeter!

I probably shouldn't tell you that I think of you often,
I love your smile and your ambition.

I probably shouldn't tell you that I appreciate you,
You took a chance on me,
You didn't have to.

I probably shouldn't tell you that you've changed my life,
Given me hope,
Made me stronger,
and inspired me.

I probably shouldn't tell you that I know I'm not the woman I used to be,
But I thank you for caring enough to hold me accountable.

I probably shouldn't tell you that I LOVE when you hold me,
and when you're not here,
I pretend that you are.

I probably shouldn't tell you that you haunt my dreams,
In every blissful moment,
I see you there.

I probably shouldn't tell you that I trust you,
Even when you don't keep your word,
Because you are human.

I probably shouldn't tell you that even when I get mad,
I know that you mean me no harm.

I probably should tell you that
I AM WIDE OPEN
....
But I think you already know.

Don't Speak On It....

I had originally dedicated this blog to goings on around the city and abroad. I will continue to follow that cause, but I have some editorial thoughts that I think should be shared. So here goes...

Don't Speak On It!!!

How many times have you had an argument with your mate about something that you shared with a friend? I'm calling somebody out, but you don't have to answer out loud. Just keep that to yourself. When we have relationship drama, our most innate reaction is to call up a girlfriend and go on and on about what they did, how you don't know why they did it and so on. You're friend's response is ALWAYS in the same format "Girl, you shoulda", "Girl, you coulda" and last but not least "Girl, I woulda". But lets look at this a little further. Have you ever investigated why YOU can't talk to YOUR mate? Have you ever tried putting yourself in their shoes? In my opinion if you can't share your feelings with your mate and at least be heard, if not also understood, then you may want to do some reflection on why you are with the person in the first place.

Nine times out of ten, the person of choice to vent to is one of your single friends. You know the ones that are single by choice. If that is the case, how do they know so much about relationships? If they'd mastered relationships, wouldn't they be in one? Just a thought. Ever heard that old negro spiritual "Misery Loves Company"? It's not a spiritual, but it damn sure feels like it sometimes.

Take some time to reflect on some of your relationship choices and what role your friends have played in them. You don't need anyone to speak negativity into your relationship. Life is hard enough without you creating dramas in your head spawned by someone who doesn't even know your mate. And who cares if they do! Who cares what they have to say? One time I cheated on my mate knowing in my heart that they weren't doing the same. But because I had some chickens around me whispering "Girl, you know he probably..." I messed my own relationship up. Who knows where that relationship would've gone if I'd trusted ME instead.

I do a lot of bachelorette parties and I hear women give the same advice like a broken record, "Your marriage is about you, him and the LORD." It's not as hard as we make it seem like it is. If your value your mate, honor them, by keeping the vow to keep your business yours. If all you have to talk about day in and day out is your mate and or your relationship, then you need to get a LIFE! And/or maybe even some new friends.

Today, I watched the movie The Secret and a lot of times when I watch it, I pay attention to the relationship part. How to draw people into your life, how to create the love life you want, etc, etc. But today for some reason, the message that stood out was "Whatever is going on in your life, YOU attracted it." WHAT?!?!? For real?!?!? So, that drama with your mate, the other chic that always seems to be around, the phone that is always interrupting your quality time...YOU attracted it. You can't be mad at your mate, because YOU gave that drama life, by always complaining about it.

Don't Speak On It! Speak life, and love and happiness into your relationship and that's what you will have. Otherwise...Shut up...or get a journal or something, but stop letting people control YOUR relationships.

Leopard LoungeFREE CLASSIC FRIDAYS @ LEOPARD LOUNGE...SPONSORED BY HORNE RUM

Last night I started about 6:30 at El Azteca with Nessa and Company. After that I went to check out the space at Club 714. I LOVE it! I see lots of fun times happening there. Shout out to Illy Ent! Watch out, you will be hearing PLENTY of buzz about them real soon. Afterward, I went to Leopard Lounge for drinks. There was definitely a good crowd. People enjoying the music, drinks, and of course the musical tributes to Michaeal Jackson. The patio was bumping so was the inside. Q mixes the best drinks, of course, so be sure to holler at him if you go through next week! Join their facebook group: Phat Comedy Events to stay on top of all their events around the city. Smooches!

June 21, 2009 Phat Comedy At Twisted Taco

Last night I went to Twisted Taco in Midtown to check out my friend Q's comedy night. I had a great time! The food was great, so were the drinks and the comedians were hilarious. It goes down every Sunday night starting at 9:30pm. You should get some friends and come experience comic relief at it's best. Smooches!

June 6, 2009

This weekend I had 4 parties to hit up...I only made 2. Jimmy Jones, Party Extraordinaire, had a daytime cookout at the Leopard Lounge. It was beyond packed! But I love to see people out like that and enjoying themselves...That's what partying is all about. I had another engagement in Covington, but we all know I'm a city girl, so I didn't quite make it out there. Party #3 wasn't sure about the whereabouts, times and locations, so I made way to party #4. I went out with my favorite sisters and company to a reggae spot...It was different. I probably would've never chosen a reggae spot on my own, but it was fun...Very Cloudy...hmmm....lol...finally made it to bed around 4ish...O what a night...stay tuned for more...

Welcome to my Blog

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. On my site I will be talking about relationship issues, reviewing restaurants and listing all of the hottest parties. Join me as I Entice Atlanta.