Don't Speak On It!!!
How many times have you had an argument with your mate about something that you shared with a friend? I'm calling somebody out, but you don't have to answer out loud. Just keep that to yourself. When we have relationship drama, our most innate reaction is to call up a girlfriend and go on and on about what they did, how you don't know why they did it and so on. You're friend's response is ALWAYS in the same format "Girl, you shoulda", "Girl, you coulda" and last but not least "Girl, I woulda". But lets look at this a little further. Have you ever investigated why YOU can't talk to YOUR mate? Have you ever tried putting yourself in their shoes? In my opinion if you can't share your feelings with your mate and at least be heard, if not also understood, then you may want to do some reflection on why you are with the person in the first place.
Nine times out of ten, the person of choice to vent to is one of your single friends. You know the ones that are single by choice. If that is the case, how do they know so much about relationships? If they'd mastered relationships, wouldn't they be in one? Just a thought. Ever heard that old negro spiritual "Misery Loves Company"? It's not a spiritual, but it damn sure feels like it sometimes.
Take some time to reflect on some of your relationship choices and what role your friends have played in them. You don't need anyone to speak negativity into your relationship. Life is hard enough without you creating dramas in your head spawned by someone who doesn't even know your mate. And who cares if they do! Who cares what they have to say? One time I cheated on my mate knowing in my heart that they weren't doing the same. But because I had some chickens around me whispering "Girl, you know he probably..." I messed my own relationship up. Who knows where that relationship would've gone if I'd trusted ME instead.
I do a lot of bachelorette parties and I hear women give the same advice like a broken record, "Your marriage is about you, him and the LORD." It's not as hard as we make it seem like it is. If your value your mate, honor them, by keeping the vow to keep your business yours. If all you have to talk about day in and day out is your mate and or your relationship, then you need to get a LIFE! And/or maybe even some new friends.
Today, I watched the movie The Secret and a lot of times when I watch it, I pay attention to the relationship part. How to draw people into your life, how to create the love life you want, etc, etc. But today for some reason, the message that stood out was "Whatever is going on in your life, YOU attracted it." WHAT?!?!? For real?!?!? So, that drama with your mate, the other chic that always seems to be around, the phone that is always interrupting your quality time...YOU attracted it. You can't be mad at your mate, because YOU gave that drama life, by always complaining about it.
Don't Speak On It! Speak life, and love and happiness into your relationship and that's what you will have. Otherwise...Shut up...or get a journal or something, but stop letting people control YOUR relationships.
Nine times out of ten, the person of choice to vent to is one of your single friends. You know the ones that are single by choice. If that is the case, how do they know so much about relationships? If they'd mastered relationships, wouldn't they be in one? Just a thought. Ever heard that old negro spiritual "Misery Loves Company"? It's not a spiritual, but it damn sure feels like it sometimes.
Take some time to reflect on some of your relationship choices and what role your friends have played in them. You don't need anyone to speak negativity into your relationship. Life is hard enough without you creating dramas in your head spawned by someone who doesn't even know your mate. And who cares if they do! Who cares what they have to say? One time I cheated on my mate knowing in my heart that they weren't doing the same. But because I had some chickens around me whispering "Girl, you know he probably..." I messed my own relationship up. Who knows where that relationship would've gone if I'd trusted ME instead.
I do a lot of bachelorette parties and I hear women give the same advice like a broken record, "Your marriage is about you, him and the LORD." It's not as hard as we make it seem like it is. If your value your mate, honor them, by keeping the vow to keep your business yours. If all you have to talk about day in and day out is your mate and or your relationship, then you need to get a LIFE! And/or maybe even some new friends.
Today, I watched the movie The Secret and a lot of times when I watch it, I pay attention to the relationship part. How to draw people into your life, how to create the love life you want, etc, etc. But today for some reason, the message that stood out was "Whatever is going on in your life, YOU attracted it." WHAT?!?!? For real?!?!? So, that drama with your mate, the other chic that always seems to be around, the phone that is always interrupting your quality time...YOU attracted it. You can't be mad at your mate, because YOU gave that drama life, by always complaining about it.
Don't Speak On It! Speak life, and love and happiness into your relationship and that's what you will have. Otherwise...Shut up...or get a journal or something, but stop letting people control YOUR relationships.
Wow.... This really hit home for me... I cant count how many times Ive made the mistake of going to "friends" to vent about whats going on in my relationship, and i swear the only good advice that i've ever gotten was to go and talk to my significant other!!! (thats the best advice ive ever gotten from a true friend) I think that a lot of women make this same mistake and in the end they are the ones who end up alone and bitter.. Good piece girly. Cant wait to see the blogs to come!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you babes! It was on my mind...See what happens when you speak from the heart?
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